Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Oh, Just Get Over It!

Based on my encounters and conversations with the mentally healthy, I have come to some judgments about them. I don’t mean ALL mentally healthy people. Just the majority. My notions may seem a bit presumptuous and my tone a tad on the accusing side. Regardless, one of my observations is that most mentally healthy people do not believe that mental illness exists. I should rephrase that. They might believe that only certain types of mental illness exist. How can one deny the obvious psychosis of a person with schizophrenia? It is safe to assume that most people can’t fake psychosis on a long-term basis. As for depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety disorders, most seem to believe that these are merely attempts for the weak to get out of living productive lives. The only people I know who truly believe that chronic depression exists are those who have experienced chronic depression themselves. I stress the term, chronic depression, because many people have experienced circumstantial depression. These people seem to be the most unforgiving because they might say, “I was depressed and I got over it. What is stopping them?”

I was sitting near a woman with whom I had been developing somewhat of a friendship. Our daughters played on the same basketball team and we had been chatting during practices and games. I revealed to her that I cannot drink alcohol on a regular basis because it negates the effects of my anti-depressants. She asked, “What do you have to be depressed about?” Rather than defending my true position, I quickly rebutted with the depressive state I had encountered after my brother committed suicide. Who could judge me for that? In retrospect, I should have given her a better education on depression than I did. I wonder if she would have viewed depression differently if I had told her about my family history? I wonder if I should have told her how I am under the care of professionals and all have advised me to continue on anti-depressant medications? Perhaps if I had told her that I absolutely hate taking medication and the idea that I might need it for the rest of my life frightens me. Then would she have been open to learning something or would she continue with her preconceived notions? Her response is that she makes it a point to remain positive. Good for her, I say. And good for everyone else on the planet who can talk themselves out of depression at any time and under any circumstance.

Granted, there are those who seem to thrive on attention for being depressed. Or those who have simply become lazy. But, who am I to judge them? A major sign of depression is, indeed, what some might call laziness. There are those who discontinue therapy or do not attend therapy in the first place. We cannot deny the existence of people who don’t care to improve. However, the process I had to go through to be approved for therapy to be covered by insurance was not easy. The first time I became severely depressed, I was fortunate that my husband at the time made calls for me. He had good health insurance through the military so there were no worries of cost. As for the second major case of depression, I had a partner who held my hand through the process of getting a therapist and medication. Even then, there were some extraordinary circumstances which worked in my favor. Otherwise, I would have only scored on medication but no therapy. That is just the reality of the situation.

When my eldest brother fell severely depressed, he relied solely on samples of Wellbutrin and Lithium from his therapist. My brother did not qualify for any type of social services and for him to purchase medication would have cost him much more than his earnings. By the time he was offered his old job back, it was too late. Besides, he refused to believe that he needed medication. He refused to believe that he was mentally ill even though he had attempted suicide multiple times in previous years.

I am not blaming anyone for the loss of my brother. I am only attempting to illustrate the effects of ignorance of mental illness. I am also not trying to justify the instant use of medication to treat depression. However, I believe that, like many other technological advances, the discovery of anti-depressant medication is an important facet of human survival in these times.

Some may question, “Well, what did people do 100 years ago when they supposedly got depressed?” I don’t know what everyone did but I do know what some of my ancestors did. My paternal great-grandmother abandoned her 7 children. No one knows exactly why. There is no documentation or journals. I think it is safe to assume that she wasn’t quite right in the head. Pardon the term but that is probably the extent of psychological terminology in the time my great-grandmother’s existence. My maternal great grandmother was admitted to an insane asylum after the birth of her youngest child. My grandmother wrote in a letter to me that her mother was admitted for what we now have termed, post partum depression disorder. At the time, she was just considered insane. She was eventually released and continued with a somewhat normal life, so go the family stories.

How would these cases have been treated today? Perhaps my grandmother would have had a mother in the first crucial years of her life if medications like Wellbutrin or Prozac had been discovered. How would my grandmother’s life and my mother’s life have been better if that were the case? My own mother finally admitted her own mental illness by the age of 35 when she fell severely depressed. It wasn’t until 10 years later that she was prescribed anti-depressants. Today, she is not asleep in bed all of the time. She smiles and seems to finally enjoy life. She is finally able to nurture relationships with her family and friends, not to mention her dogs and frogs.

My intentions are only to enlighten and to motivate people to explore the scientific evidence about depression, bi-polar disorder, anxiety disorders, and other mystified disorders. Please do not automatically assume that mental illness can be fixed by simply thinking your way out of it. Understand that mental illness is a very dynamic condition. Dynamic, meaning that there are countless components and causes. Don’t conclude that all disorders and treatment of disorders are universally definable. Educate yourself on the science of depression, not just on the stigma. This goes for the mentally healthy and the mentally unhealthy people alike. The human race has advanced incredibly in this field. Perhaps if we saw depression for what it really is, many people could live a more meaningful life!

Elissa Eggen September 15, 2009


  1. I too don't like to think that I will have to take medication for the rest of my life, but know that I'm a functioning human being able to leave the house and deal with every day life while on meds.

    Those who are religious seem to take the "positive your way out of it" to another level. If you're depressed you're "not being spiritual enough, you just need to pray". I was amazed to hear at an actual LDS function (Time out for Women) a speaker acknowledge that mental illness exists, and that if you need help, the medical profession was given to us for a reason, and to get the meds you need just as if you were sick. I have seen this same attitude from a handful of members, who look at dying from depression similar to dying from cancer. I had purchased the tickets to this event with a friend in mind, but took Mom when my friend couldn't make it. I was very grateful for the way it turned out because of a couple of things (including that) we could relate to with our family.

    The topic of situational depression reminded me of something Robert said to me that I've never really let him live down or gotten over. I'm sure this happened within a week of losing David, which makes it that much worse. He told me that he had felt "suicidal" and felt like running his truck off the road after splitting with someone, but thought of his kids and was able to pull himself out of it. My first thought? Well, good for you. So in other words my brother wasn't as strong as you are. Besides putting himself on a higher level than David, it also made me feel like shit.

    Sorry for the lengthy comment, but this blog really hit something in me, and I appreciate your ability to get thoughts on paper as efficiently as you are. I'm still a work in progress as far as writing/blogging goes.

  2. I liked your post! I have been on depression meds for several years. In retrospect, if I had been diagnosed sooner it probably would've saved my first marriage. After I married Van I went through another severe depression and he said, "You need help!" But he knew the signs...

    At a family gathering recently, a relative was saying that he believed people can think their way out of depression. He basically said that those of us on meds & seeing therapists are either weak or lazy. It made me sad.

    Elissa, your maternal grandmother never understood Van's bi-polar disorder and depression until she was in her 60's or 70's and had a bout of depression herself for the first time. She asked him, "You deal with this all the time?? How do you do it?" He said, "I don't, Mother. I'm on meds, and I see a psychiatrist, and sometimes I get suicidal and they lock me up."

    ~Rebecca Whipple